Choose Your Contract: Pain or Joy


When an injustice takes place in our lives we can sometimes get stuck in the energy of that injustice. We rest inside the pain we feel and we replay the scenario in our minds until our bodies react to the situation again and again. This is a viscous cycle leaving absolutely no room for growth. It’s a trap. I felt this for quite some time. I had reason to mourn and grieve a huge loss and after about eight months, I began to get on my own nerves. My time was up! So I came to a realization about all of this which helped me when I was struggling and I hope it helps you, too.  

Imagine you are sitting at a table and in front of you are two contracts. The one on your left is stacked pretty high and it is 3,000 pages long. You know it by heart. You know every word, every detail. This knowledge is part of you. It is very familiar to you and to honor it would require very little effort on your part. You’re used to the terms of the larger contract. This is your contract with pain. 

In the 3,000 pages of your contract with pain, the details for what is expected of you have been outlined. Among those things required of you are as follows. You must agree to preserve, promote and seek out pain and painful situations. You must feel sorrow and engage in self sabotage. When you enter into business with pain, you are partnering with the business with a goal of doubling the production of pain over the duration of the contract. 

Your contract includes (but is not limited to) any and every type of pain, suffering, loss, lack, heartache, disappointments, fear, abandonment, rejection, failure, disease and emotional, physical and mental suffering. The contract stipulates that you must review your pain on a daily basis, remembering and recapturing every last detail. If you choose to sign the pain contract, then you are agreeing to the terms of this contract. You will become President and CEO of Negative Feelings & Powerlessness, Inc.  

Some of us seek to be competitive when it comes to our pain. Those of us in alignment with pain in the pain contract do interesting things with this. We take our pain, throw it in a pot and ante up, betting on the fact that “my pain is bigger than your pain.” Or “my illness is far more terrifying than your illness.” Or, “I have overcome so much more than anyone on the planet, therefore I must be a super hero!” 

In my mind, my pain was so much greater than anyone else’s and if you only knew what I have been through maybe you would admire me and think that I was strong. The fact that you don’t know what I’ve been through made me feel like I had a huge secret and not telling it made me feel powerful, like I had something you want and the pain of my life would shock you and blow you away. We seek to elevate our self-esteem by competing for points or strokes for how many things we have overcome and the severity of those experiences. Talking about these experiences is our ego’s way of seeking applause for what we have survived. The problem is that talking about these negative and/or painful experiences keeps us aligned with the low energetic vibration of pain and negative thoughts.

The truth is that many of you have been through things I have yet to even imagine. The reality is that I would be blown away by YOUR pain. It’s true that pain makes us stronger but it lacks the ability to strengthen us if we are still dwelling in it. Holding on to and revisiting it on a daily basis only weakens us. Once you have moved past your pain, you will know your strength and true power as a result of that pain. It may take years to be able to look back on something and acknowledge how much it helped you grow. That’s when you will know you’re stronger for having had the experience.

For most of us, being in a painful place is what is most familiar. Sometimes the path to joy is unknown. It can be new and overwhelming. To return to pain momentarily is to be human. We have to see it and feel it in order to know what it feels like. We can use these feelings to pursue what we might identify as the opposite of this pain. It is when we choose to remain in that pain-house that we are choosing to rejoin this pain in a partnership. That’s where we get stuck. It’s where we imprison ourselves. This is the space where there is no room for healing or growth of any kind. In fact this is the place where illness grows. It is in dark and damp places where mold and bacteria thrive. Aim some sunlight on the darkness and watch the sickness fade away. In darkness anxiety gains strength. Heartaches seem to deepen instead of lighten or lessen in their degree of pain. Everything that feels bad is magnified. The environment for pain to grow and thrive has been created.

Once you dissolve your partnership with pain, the pain-causer is out of business! They needed you, a “willing” participant. Once you draw a line in the sand and set your boundaries, you have removed yourself from the contract that had you bound to your source of pain and suffering. It will always be and has always been your decision to break this contract. 

The smaller, 2-page contract is your contract with joy. When you move out of the energy of pain and into healing, victory, love, joy, and the support of God, the universe, your angels, spirit guides and friends then you create love and healing. Form a vibrational partnership with joy and you will attract more things that deliver joy into your life because you will have aligned with joy. When you align with joy you match the vibrational frequency of joy, thereby connecting with everything else in the universe on this vibration. You have to tune into a radio station to hear the broadcast that speaks to you. You have to tune into the joy radio station in order to receive joy. When you form a vibrational partnership with joy, you attract more things that deliver joy into your life.

When we focus on joy, our abuser or source of pain now has no partner and no power. In order to abuse, they need a victim; a ‘silent’ partner who may be blind to some degree by what is happening or too afraid to speak out, make changes, or rock the boat. Someone who can be manipulated by material things who may not believe that he/she can change the situation for fear of the unfamiliar or uncomfortable. You need joy and once you seek her she will take notice of you and fill your life so full it will take you the rest of your days to wrap your head around all that is good. 

Once you make a commitment to joy, imagine you have signed a legal document binding you in this partnership with joy. This means you have to share everything with joy, be loyal to joy, trust in this joy, and let your guard down and dissolve your walls so joy can come in. Your partner must have access to you 24/7. It will live with you and become your roommate. It will travel with you and never leave unless YOU choose to dissolve the partnership. And why would anyone dissolve a partnership with joy? I understand getting caught up in self-sabotage but would you really terminate your agreement with joy to return to pain? While you are under contract with joy, to even think thoughts about pain is a violation of your contract.

If you enter into a business, the purpose would be to grow the business. This is one way of looking at these contracts. If you go with pain, you have to grow the pain. The same is true of joy. It’s like being in a partnership and your job is to make which ever one you choose “profitable.” If you are going to multiply something and tend to it each day, promote it and give out samples of your product, doesn’t it make sense for that product to be joy?

Dresden Danielle, Psychic Medium & Medical Intuitive