A Life

I was turning 21 so I had the photo above (L) taken to commemorate the day. I remember how I believed that I had all the answers for my life. That’s so funny to me now because not only did I not have the answers, I didn’t even know the questions. 

There are so many things to learn, so many more perspectives to see, many things left to feel, to endure. But the most unbelievable things happen as we get older. It’s as if the blinders come off over time. The more time that passes, the more things we begin to see with clarity. Things are revealed to us that we could not see before. We think we have a clear view and that we know our path but life trips you up. It has a way of slowing you down and forcing you to take a moment to see and to learn. 

As we age, we know and appreciate people in a completely different way than when we might have in our early twenties. I believe we also start to appreciate ourselves on a deeper level. We are slowly opened up to knowing ourselves more deeply and more completely. God reveals gifts to us over time. When you pass the tests and building blocks that life throws your way and you hang in there with your faith intact, you will be shown more and more. You might wonder how you could have missed these things before. You might even ask yourself how you could have been so blind in certain situations.

Trust that you won’t know these truths until you are older. Know that when the universe deems you ready you will receive new gifts; they unfold over time. You will see things you have never seen before even though they might have been in your view the entire time. You might experience a kind of rebirth. I’m 51 and in many ways, I feel like my life is just now beginning. I absolutely look forward to turning 52 in June.

Every time I look in the mirror, my scars, lines and wrinkles reflect a life. They remind me of what I have loved, lost, and survived. I am grateful to be alive, for each morning and every sunset. We have lost too many broken souls to suicide. Some of us have been unable to come back from heart break. We’re all broken. At some time or another throughout our lives we will feel broken. As we keep getting back up after every time we have been knocked down, we grow and gain strength. Most women my age feel like warriors. And we kind of are.

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